Maybe Some Sleep

Boarding in black on a plane

i’m numb and following ten conversations that flow mildly like a stream

I pass through on a bridge unnoticed

When looking back or ahead, the feeling is dead

From white wall to wall in loops

Open my eyes in the isle

Faces dull, in a lull

I’ve got nothing to lose

Maybe some sleep and that strange itch that used to be

Now there is nowhere to go

I’m coming home in drawn out minutes

But I’m quietly making a prayer that this time I will never get there

Only to find more white walls

Sterile halls and pressing conversations

Open my eyes in the dark

Suddenly I can see I’ve got nothing to lose

Maybe some sleep is the only way that I can dream

Walking off board in the rain

I’m drained and following ten phone calls

Oh, the world’s lighting up

Eyes brighting up

Keep me away from the beep

Keep me right here

Keep me right blind

Put me to sleep

Maybe some sleep is the only way that you can be with me

Muddy Puddles

I adore the fog

It makes me wonder what I’m seeing

I adore your heart

It makes me wonder what you’re feeling

Are you looking for someone to recognize your feelings?

Don’t you realize that’s all I do?

That is all I do

I adore the rain 

It makes me feel like I’m a raindrop

We could fall together sometime

Music on the ceilings

Are you looking for someone to recognize your feelings?

Don’t you realize that’s all I do?

That is all I do

I adore the muddy puddles gathering in the garden

I adore them for they make me wonder what is sinking

Are you looking for someone to wonder what you’re thinking

Don’t you realize that’s all I do? That is all I do


Dreams

When I dream I dream that I’m better. 

Better off and best without you.

But sometimes I can’t help myself dreaming 

that when you dream you dream of me, too.

When I walk I walk to the moonlight 

and read the stars like a diary.

When dreaming of my world I seldom think 

of the dreamy girl that took you from me. 


Maybe you are simply a liar. 

Maybe you have secrets to keep. 

I can’t wait til I become tired 

so I can fall back to sleep.


Oliver

Oliver, I saw you today

I sink, but I want to see you again

Oliver, my headphones are in

I’m singing along, the songs make sense

Songs make sense like never before

they mingle with the constant flow in my chest 

Oliver, the world is a blur

Your features are blurred

and so is the rest

Let me feel like a drop of the sea

Like a cell 

Like a grain of sand and then

Let it go as a beautiful memory if you never want to see me again

Oliver I know you don’t hear me 

I know that I’ve lost you 

You’re off in the distance 

But I’ve found one thing

I’m a part of the world 

The music continues and the songs make sense

Oliver, I heard your name

It emerged like music from the noise, from the buzz

Oliver, my headphones are home in that drawer by the piano 

just gathering dust

Dust gathers up like dust always does 

It mingles with the constant turmoil of my mind

Oliver, the world is a buzz

Your voice is unclear and so is mine

Let me feel like a drop of the sea

Like a cell 

Like a grain of sand and then

Let it go as a beautiful memory if you never want to see me again

Oliver I know you don’t hear me 

I know that I’ve lost you 

You’re off in the distance 

But I’ve found one thing

I’m a part of the world 

The music continues and the songs make sense

Oliver, I’ll see you around, I hope that she feeds your mind to the moon


Another Long Night

Another long night of autumn fever. I made myself sick again and I can’t wait for the sunrise. My mind’s turning tricks again. I saw a willow tree, it was crying. Now everything’s doomed to fall apart. For the truth just makes me nauseous and my dream’s just deteriorating my heart. Another dark night in a bright room. I just wish I could see the sky. In between dreams, and reality time is frozen in this cell of white. The neon lights outside keep me alive as I’m writing a note that won’t get sent. For your answer would be nauseatingly obscure. Another reason for me to pretend that you loved me. To pretend that you meant it when you said all the right words and you kissed me on my soul. Another night, another endless night. 


Autumn

Autumn passed by like a dream

I was floating around with you and I lost everything

I awoke yesterday with the sun in my eyes, illuminating reality

An emptiness struck me and settled inside 

But it shook me awake and gave me my sight 

and as we lay side by side 

the first line fell between us

Between the skies and the surface of the sea

The line of the horizon was blurred and surreal

now that it’s clear- I don’t know how to feel

Once I was floating in a shallow millpond 

Before I knew what happened, 

I drifted to sleep into fathers arms, but he was already fading away 

into the blinding glare of the sun

he motioned with his hand for me to come

but the grip of my soul rooted me, I couldn’t obey

Autumn passed by in a daze 

Your absence is clear as a cloudless sky

now something’s changed, our ruby moon is no longer in phase

As springtime arrives, a threshold awaits 

and you said you’d meet me at the gates

But you see, I never thought of it that way

Nothing will change the way we see

Nothing can change reality 

Nothing will change the way we see

Nothing will change you, Nothing will change me


Mountain's Peak

You’re on a mountain’s peak. 

You’re too high but you won’t come down.

People will try to reach you but they can’t lift themselves off the ground.

It was a basic climb but I fear you will fall. I don’t know what you do up there. I don’t know you at all.

Walked into spiderwebs. The worst part is that I’d do it all again.

Walked and I tripped and fell. It never mattered when. 

You keep giving me a lift. Then you throw me back down to the bottom to the crawl. 

I don’t know what you do up there. I don’t know you at all.

I met the earth today. Felt like it was the first time. We didn’t talk too much. We just used our eyes. I saw beautiful landscapes, I heard the ocean speak. Dug my fingers in the ground. Felt rain upon my cheek. I shivered in a cave, I saw a mountain’s peak. 

You’re on a mountain’s peak. 

You’re too high but you won’t come down.

People will try to reach you but they can’t lift themselves off the ground.

It was a basic climb but I fear what you seek. I don’t know what you do up there up on a mountain’s peak. 


Gemini

Gemini, hummingbird, willow of the garden. 

Your branches are the bridge above the thorns. I’ve crossed this bridge by the blushing daybreak everyday since I was born. 

Fairy queen, silver swan, spirit of the morning. I heard you in the kitchen by yourself. Clinking, clanking, clattering and humming the most peaceful music I’ve ever beheld. 

Gemini, ray of light, primrose of the garden. Your secret youth is glowing in your smile. In the ocean your melodic laughter rings out and for a moment you’re a child. The rain is falling on the red tile roof and tears are brimming in your eyes. Where do you go when you walk alone? What do you leave behind?

Hand in hand we run away from our trials tomorrow and walk on our bare feet along the sea. I cling onto your soft fleeting grip. But you were never clinging on to me. 


Shadow

Early morning, or late last night the sky was cloudless, starless, barely light.

The earth was damp and dank and the noise was white and it felt right.

Sure now I recall that I was basically a wreck- uneven posture, idle, a crick in my neck

but I feel something these days it might be strength, we’ll see in time.

People say that they’re looking for friends but they’re already disappointed

and these thoughts transcend

I know because I’ve given up on people the way you’ve given up on me.

See the sky is cloudless, can’t remember now why I felt so bad before.

You can do your thing, this time it won’t sting, you can’t hurt me anymore.

I wasn’t afraid to lose myself I was so ashamed tongue-tied and weak.

What a fool I was, lying to myself so I could sleep.

Is there significance in a lifeless star?

Is that why they say to be “who you are?”

and who is that person when that person is out of reach?

And when you sell your soul you become a shadow.

Early morning, or late last night I was your shadow girl, but not tonight.

I left the shadow there, I’m regaining the rest of me.

See the sky is cloudless, can’t remember now why I felt so bad before.

You can do your thing, this time it won’t sting, you can’t hurt me anymore.

And when you sell your soul you become a shadow.